Sunday, March 02, 2008

The best-laid [travel] plans

Typical of my travel days...e-mail to F&F (friends & family).

All,

Thanks to a combination of Delta Airlines sucking and New Yorkers being unable to drive in 1/10th of an inch of snow and therefore running into each other all over the highway, I’m now back at home and not leaving until tomorrow morning. Good thing I’m not still seeing that Delta pilot or I’d be bitching at him about his crappy airline and their “oops, we’re cancelling your flight and sticking you on a garbage one with an interminable layover in Atlanta so you can experience the entire weather spectrum of the U.S. in ten hours- oh, and it leaves earlier than your original one” approach to customer service.

And I left my favorite gloves somewhere at JFK while I was dragging my ridiculously heavy (filled with books and computers) suitcases all over the place. For Christmas next year, please put grey kidskin gloves on my list.

Did I also mention that the car service driver who took me to the airport drove with the window open in 24 degree weather the entire *two hours* that it took to get to JFK despite my asking him if he could, I don’t know, TURN ON THE HEAT OR CLOSE THE WINDOW BECAUSE I’M WEARING EARMUFFS, GLOVES, A HOODED WOOL COAT AND A SCARF AND I’M STILL FREEZING? He told me he likes fresh air. And left the window open. Then he took me to the international departures despite my saying three times that I was flying domestic, took the ten-dollar tip I gave him and STILL claimed I’d said I was flying international? Gee, I guess it was hard for him to hear “DOMESTIC! DOMESTIC! DOMESTIC!” when I had a scarf wrapped around my head and was huddled in the corner of the car like a wino next to an oil barrel of burning trash.

Fambly/friends, I’m not in an airplane, but I will be tomorrow. Between now and then, I plan to eat and sleep. Clearly, I am cranky and will be ignoring e-mail.

L-----a (my awesome catsitter for those of you who have no idea to whom I’m addressing this part), please do still come tomorrow, but since I won’t be leaving until morning, you don’t have to come early in the day if you were planning to do so.

Thanks, y’all; kiss the kids for me (L-----a, you don’t have to kiss my cats if you don’t want to, but big fat Jack really likes it and he doesn’t lick his butt because he’s too fat to reach it, so his head is clean),